


Deep Longing

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-10
Updated: 2006-03-10
Packaged: 2018-08-15 22:14:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8074834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Malcolm lusts after Hoshi's perfection. (01/29/2005)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Major adult content.  


* * *

> He who is in love is wise and is becoming wiser, sees newly every time he looks at the object beloved, drawing from it with his eyes and his mind those virtues which it possesses.
> 
> â€”Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882), _Address on the Method of Nature,_ 1841

Time. A quite simple aspect. Since the beginning of the universe it has played some kind of role in whom or what we are. There are those who do nothing with that time and there are those who do everything they can to be living life every minute. Those who do nothing spend eternity wishing they had truly lived their lives while they had the chance; but those who do everything often find that they truly haven't done everything.

A simple woman keeps me from having everything I've ever wanted. But she's not just any woman. She's a goddess sent from the Lord himself. She's a blessed gift to all who come across her. Never in all of my thirty-something years have I met anyone like her. She has an innocent beauty that can brighten even the gloomiest of rooms. Her composure shows a confident young ensign just waiting to explore the possibilities of life.

But I've seen her other side. She fears things like all others do. Whenever I see the fear in her eyes, I just want to hold her close to me and make the pain go away. Her smile is as glorious as the rising sun. Just by smiling, she can melt the icy shield I lift to protect my soul. Oh, that woman. To see her smile lifts my soul and warms my heart.

Her beautiful long, dark hair only adds to that innocent beauty. Its color brings out the tones of her beautiful face. Oh, how faultless her skin is. It is the sand on the beaches of England, the beautiful color of caramel and butterscotch. So delicious to the eye. And her ears, so delectable. How I long to nip and kiss them. They are who she is. Hoshi Sato, beautiful Linguist Extraordinaire.

And oh how her full lips move when she's speaking an alien language. They are irresistible. Only my firm restraint keeps me from attempting to drag her to my quarters and show her how fiery I truly am, in the bedroom and out. Her voice, an angelic choir singing the most ardent of songs. Oh, my Hoshi. So much more than woman. She is greater than even a goddess. She is so abstract, so heavenly, that no one can put her to words.

I can't help but grin as I watch her from across the bridge. Her nose is wrinkled and her eyes show a look of deep concentration. I turn back to my station and let out a sigh. I wish to be hers, but I may never be. I wish to be her first, but I know I will not be. I wish to be her only, but I can simply hope to be. She drives me to the brink of insanity and back again with her exquisite charm and beauty.

Just inhaling her sweet scent, smelling of vanilla, dandelions and the ocean, makes my pulse quicken. I feel as though I'm drowning in a sea of passion. That woman would be the death of me if she weren't the life of me. My mind cannot stay in the living world, for it wanders to my hopes and dreams of what it would be like with her.

She has invited me to her quarters saying that she believes there is a creature in the ducts above her room. I immediately go to her because I want to bask in the glory that is her...and of course par the opportunity to shoot something. When I arrive, she calls to me from the bathroom.

"In here, Lieutenant," she shouts.

I slowly make my way toward the bathroom.

"Alright, Ensign. Where...?" I begin, but I stop as I examine her attire.

She is wearing a pair of tight bluish gray sweat pants that cling to her delicious curves and a too-short tank top of white which accentuates her trim waist and full chest. I feel my pulse quicken and a painful tightening in a certain area. I curse silently as I shift my phase pistol to cover my indiscretion.

She turns to me with a smirk on her face, obviously knowing the effect that her attire and her body have on me.

"Is there something wrong, Lieutenant?" she asks in a would-be innocent tone were that Cheshire cat smile not threatening to trickle over her lips.

"I'm fine, Ensign," I reply. "Now, where did you say the noise is coming from?"

She nods toward the third panel from the right. "It's coming from there," she replies.

She shifts so that I can stand on the footstool as well. As I reach up to lift the panel out of the way, I feel her hot breath on my neck and I turn to find her gripping my shoulders eyes wide with anticipation. I clear my throat and turn back toward the panel carefully lifting it out of the way. I jump when I see a pair of yellow-slitted eyes, but my surprised expression becomes a smirk as I set the phase pistol down on the sink and reach into the duct to pull out the creature. I feel her grip on my shoulders tighten for a moment before my hands pull out a little kitten.

I hear her gasp behind me and then let out a sound of adoration. I stare at the little creature for a moment, the smirk becoming a warm smile as the kitten closes its eyes and yawns before beginning to purr. I hug it to my chest and carefully step down off the stool, Hoshi doing the same behind me. I feel her chin rest on my shoulder as her hand reaches around to gently stroke the little creature.

"I can't believe it was just a little kitten," she says softly.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "It isn't always a monster in the closet, Ensign," I reply. "Let's see if we can find him some milk."

I entered the main room and sit down on her bed while she goes to find him some milk from the Mess Hall. Within moments, she returns carrying a tray with a bowl of milk on it. She sets it down a few feet from the bed and I place the kitten on the ground, watching carefully as he slowly stumbles toward it and begins lapping at it.

"Thank you for your help Lieutenant," she says shyly.

I shake my head. "No trouble at all, Ensign. It is my job after all," I reply.

I turn toward her to find her looking at me in much the same manner as before. The smile disappears from my face to be replaced by a look of fear as she stalks slowly toward me swinging her hips sassily. I swallow roughly as she sits in my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.

The last thing I see is the smoldering passion in her eyes before she brings her mouth down to meet mine. My hands automatically go to the small of her back and I feel her shift slightly in my lap causing friction against a certain area that's already torturously hard. I can't help but groan as I feel it tighten to the point of nearly blinding pain. She at last breaks the kiss and I gasp for air.

When I see the look in her eyes, it nearly sends me over the edge. I close my eyes and try to calm my rapid breathing. I feel a hand on my chest and my eyes snap open immediately falling upon her beautiful face. I feel my throat go dry.

"Hoshi," I groan no longer able to keep the longing out of my voice.

I crush my lips to hers, kissing her hungrily as if she were a dessert that I couldn't get enough of. I can feel the sudden shift in her personality as she returns the kisses with so much raw passion that I am barely able to hold back a cry of arousal. She pushes me roughly back onto the bed and pins my wrists down continuing her kisses. Within moments, she begins to lay kisses along my jaw and neck nipping out with each one.

I gasp as she grinds her hips against mine causing a mind-blowing wave of pain and pleasure to ripple through me. Suddenly, I feel her extricate herself from on top of me. I moan at the loss of wonderful sensation. Within moments, I feel something coil around my hands. I open my eyes and find that she has tied my wrists to the bedposts and is now working on my feet.

A momentary shot of fear courses through me as I realize what she's doing. But the fear is quickly replaced by arousal as she tugs down the zipper of my uniform. She unties my wrists momentarily to slip my arms out, and remove my undershirt, retying them once she has done so; she then does the same with my feet removing the uniform, my boots and my blues. Within moments, she has me tied to her bed stark naked.

I watch her closely as she begins to remove her baggy sweatpants. My eyes widen in surprise as the removed clothing reveals a black garter belt. Another groan escapes me as I imagine driving hard into her, relentlessly taking her virtue...but it won't be. She acts experienced in her seduction, which leaves me to believe I'm not her first.

But as I look into her eyes, I find nervousness buried behind the incontrollable lust. I see her hands begin to shake as she removes her shirt revealing marvelously full breasts. I feel the lust shoot through me as I see her rosy nipples grow to hard peaks. Just the site of her sends me into a bliss that I've never before known.

Within moments, she straddles me and grinds her hips against my manhood. I let out a low, husky groan, wishing to be inside of her. Almost as if reading my mind, she forces herself onto me and I gasp at the sensation of finally being inside of her. She lets out a sexy growl and begins to move slowly up and down my length causing me to hiss in both pleasure and pain. Her tempo increases and I hear her groans and gasps as she comes so close that I can practically taste her.

"Hoshi," I groan. Her own arousal causes a wave of pleasure to shoot through me.

I look into her eyes to see tears there and I realize that she is in pain; but she doesn't stop. My stomach tightens with the guilt that she is in pain. She may be close to release, but I suspect that all she can feel is the pain. Then it occurs to me: she's doing this for me. She knows how much I want her and I can see that she wants me. She doesn't want to stop because she's afraid that I'll leave her unsatisfied. She's the only one that could ever satisfy me. I've never felt as alive as when I am in her presence.

This seems so unreal. I've wanted her for so long and now I have her. It's so much better than I'd ever imagined it to be. I feel so out of control and I can't believe it's her causing me to feel this way. A slight panic registers in my mind, but the love from my heart shoves it out of the way. I realize that all I want is to give to her what she has given to me. But I'm bound to the bed...for now. I come out of my thoughts to realize that she has stopped. She is sitting back on her thighs now panting and trying not to move. She moves to stand beside the bed, wincing slightly as she gets up; she then unties the bonds at my feet and wrists, her hands shaking all the while.

When at last I am free, I sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed. She turns away, thinking that I'm going to leave. But unexpectedly, I pull her down into my lap and hug her head tightly to my chest. I hold in a groan as she shifts against my still-hard groin, but she needs reassurance at the moment, not rough shagging. I kiss her forehead sweetly and hum an old, soothing tune I used to love as a kid. I feel moisture on my shirt only to realize that she is crying.

"It's alright, Hoshi, love. You're going to be alright," I whisper soothingly.

"Oh Malcolm. I'm sorry. I...I don't know what I was thinking of. I...I j...just couldn't t...take it anymore!" she says through her tears.

"It's alright, love. Everything's going to be alright," I say kissing her forehead again sweetly.

"Why didn't you leave? I thought that all you wanted was for me to fulfill a fantasy," she says.

I sigh and shake my head. "Hoshi, that wasn't what I wanted with you. My previous relationships had been all about sex drive, but with you...you make me feel complete, Hoshi. Each time we part, I die a little inside. I can't tell you how close I've come to becoming a recluse for not having you with me. No woman has ever made me feel as you do. I love you, Hoshi and don't you ever doubt that," I said.

She looked up at me and I saw the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "I love you, too, Malcolm," she said.

I felt a tear make its way down my cheek and I felt my throat tighten. A smile crossed my lips as I watched the innocence of her love sparkle in her eyes. It was one of those intimate moments that you never forget. Seeing her so happy was pure bliss...and it was because of me. 'God, this is something I'll never forget,' I think.

* * *

"Lieutenant," I heard a voice call.

I shook my head violently and snapped out of my thoughts. The tightness in a certain area reached a nearly unbearable level as I found myself looking into those same brown eyes.

"Lieutenant, are you alright? You drifted off there for a bit," she said smiling.

I cleared my throat and returned the smile as best as I could. "I apologize. I was just thinking about the modifications Commander Tucker gave me for the phase cannons," I lied. Being forced to lie to her struck a deep, painful pang in my heart.

"Okay. Sorry to interrupt, but it's almost lunch and I believe according to the Sub-Commander's new shift schedule, your shift is over," she said.

"Thank you, Ensign. I appreciate you informing me," I said.

She nodded and headed for the lift, possibly heading for lunch. As soon as the doors closed, I let out a quiet breath of relief. Someday, I'll tell her what I'd really been daydreaming about and someday, I'll have a moment like that with her.


End file.
